Learning How to Take Back Control With Your Mindset.
Sometimes life can be incredibly challenging. Personally, I faced its difficulties through struggling with my body image, lacking confidence, and fearing failure. It wasn’t until my mid-20s that I managed to shift my mindset and truly embrace life. I took it upon myself to dismantle the toxic body image fueled by my own perfectionism, societal pressures, and the demands of wrestling culture. By becoming more aware of my thoughts, I gained better control over my actions, leading to wiser decisions and a more fulfilling life.
I also discovered the importance of diversifying where I placed my self-worth, moving beyond just wrestling. This balanced approach not only improved my overall quality of life but also enhanced my performance in the sport. Overcoming my negative self-perceptions has allowed me to live more fully and has inspired me to support others on their journeys toward fulfillment.
“Believe in your infinite potential. Your only limitations are those you set upon yourself”
Roy T. Bennett
How it Started…..
I Started Wrestling when I was 8 years old.
When I was five years old, I saw my father and his friend wrestling in our living room, and I immediately told my dad that I wanted to learn to do what they were doing. As a former wrestler himself—he was the captain of Cornell’s wrestling team and an alternate for the Olympics—I don’t think I could have said anything that made him prouder. And so, my parents signed me up at 8 years old, and told me to see the year through and if I did not enjoy the sport, I could quit. 18 years later and we are still here.
Although I often express how much I love my parents, one of the things I admire most is their unwavering support for females in wrestling. From the very beginning, they never questioned whether it was “right or wrong”; they were fans from day one.
After wrestling for my elementary school team, I continued through middle school and eventually at Blair Academy for high school. But when it was time to choose a college, I found myself at a crossroads: should I pursue a stellar education, or should I focus on becoming a world or Olympic champion?
The Not-so-fun College Journey
Female wrestling has been the fastest-growing high school sport for both girls and boys in recent years. This dramatic increase in participation is largely due to the growing support for women in wrestling, from the elementary level all the way up to post-college. However, this support wasn’t always there, and I’ve had a bittersweet experience being at the forefront of the sport’s growth.
When I was choosing a college, there were only about 30 programs available, many of which didn’t offer strong academics or were located in areas I couldn’t see myself living in. Having been fortunate enough to attend Blair Academy, I decided to prioritize my education and attend the best college I could get into while still participating in club practices. I chose Lafayette College in Pennsylvania to stay relatively close to home in New Jersey and to pursue the educational experience I had worked so hard for at prestigious Blair Academy.
Taking A Pivot
My first year at Lafayette College in Easton, PA, was both the biggest blessing and the most challenging time of my life. Looking back on it now, I can see the positives, but at the time, it felt overwhelmingly negative. I lacked athletic structure, managing my own lifts and cardio sessions, while commuting an hour each way to club practice four times a week, all on top of a demanding school workload. I had no coaching at tournaments—no one was paid to support me, and though my dad was always there for me, we worked better as father and daughter, not as coach and athlete.
On top of that, I was just a teenage girl trying to juggle everything. I knew that if I wanted to reach my goals, I needed a new plan—one that offered more structure. I needed a team, a coach, friends, training partners, and less time spent commuting. But how could I find all of that when my reality offered so few opportunities? How could I continue to care about my academic pursuits while excelling in the sport I love so much?
To Canada?
Although my time at Lafayette was brutal, it was also character-building and, as I often say, “meant to be.” My dad always reminds me that without my Lafayette experience, I wouldn’t have two of my closest friends, whom I still talk to regularly. It’s a constant reminder to find the good in the bad. However, friendships alone couldn’t reignite the fire in me to pursue my wrestling dreams, so I began searching for a new home.
I knew what I wanted, but my options were limited. Then one day, my dad called, telling me that a friend had suggested I look at colleges and universities in Canada for wrestling. Simon Fraser, Brock University, and Guelph were all mentioned. I decided I didn’t want to go anywhere outside of driving distance, which ruled out Simon Fraser. My parents and I then took a trip to visit the other two, and I fell in love with Brock University. It was a larger school with a great business program and the wrestling team of my dreams. And so, a new journey began.
Brock University
My time at Brock University was nothing short of amazing. I met my best friend, Hannah Taylor (Canada’s 57kg Olympic representative for the 2024 Olympics), and was able to live out the athletic and academic career I had always deserved. The competitive atmosphere of the business school pushed me to maintain an A average, knowing it would keep my chances of furthering my education high. I had the privilege of being coached by two multiple-time Olympic athletes, Marty Calder and Tonya Verbeek, and I was surrounded by world-class and Olympic athletes as my training partners. Life was incredible again, and my experience at Brock is something I hold dear to my heart.
Unfortunately, my junior year was cut short by COVID-19, which sent me back home to New Jersey. I completed my BBA fully online, surrounded by family, while the world grappled with the uncertainty of what was next. Once again, I found myself at a crossroads, unsure of where my education and wrestling career would take me.
Across the Country… Oregon?
A simple tweet expressing frustration over the lack of opportunities for women to continue wrestling post-college unexpectedly launched me on a new adventure to Corvallis, Oregon. Nate Engel responded to my tweet, letting me know that the Beaver Dam RTC supported female wrestlers and would back my goals of getting my MBA while competing for their program. For me, it was a done deal, and my parents helped me move from New Jersey all the way to Oregon.
My time in Oregon turned out to be one of the most successful periods of my wrestling career. In just two years, I competed at Final X, made my first national team, won the U.S. Open, and claimed victory in two international ranking series competitions. It was an unforgettable experience. However the isolation of being across the country with minimal friends, family, or life outside of wrestling and school took its toll. Once again, I found myself needing to make a move—for the sake of my happiness.
Colorado Springs! Hallelujah.
Colorado Springs has been an amazing place to live mid-20’s. I have enjoyed the scenery as well as the amazing wrestling opportunity that I have been granted. I may be biased, but I think it is the best place to be to make world and Olympic teams. The coaching staff has been incredible, the teammates have been great, and the environment is just everything that I could have wanted. I am excited to continue my life in Colorado Springs for the foreseeable future, and can truly call this place home.
Sky is the Limit: Life and Wrestling Mindset Training 